10 Possible Ways to Manage Your Anger

 Here are some ways and ideas to help you manage your anger.

1. Try to forgive. This is probably the most difficult to do especially if you are angry with someone. Consider this, most people hold onto negative memories or experiences from the past that will absolutely do them no good. The reason is it is not an easy thing to forget bad experiences and or forgive those who have caused or given you those experiences.  It does not matter how long ago it has been, if you are still angry with someone for something they did in the past, it will greatly affect your physical and mental well being in a negative way. It will continue to do so until you can forgive that person and forget it. Not only that, but holding a grudge will affect your day to day living experience in a negative way, even though you may not be aware of it. There is a bit of irony also.  By not forgiving and forgetting you are harming yourself even more. The person who has harmed you has most likely long ago forgotten about it, moved on, and probably has no effect in their life whatsoever. The main benefit in forgiving and forgetting is freedom. Freedom from harboring those negative and angry feelings, freedom in gaining a healthier state of mind, and freedom to enforce those positive feelings, those feel good feelings in your life. 

Of course you can’t undo what has already been done, but by keeping it alive, which is exactly what you do when you hold a grudge, you will always keep that negative past experience in the present. When you carry the emotional baggage of pain and anger, it does not have any effect on the person you’re angry with in the least, the only effect it has is on you, and it’s all negative. Not only that but if you continue to hold a grudge or keep that angry emotion alive, it will block your ability to move forward and have a healthy attitude in life. 

Remember, it is virtually impossible to be angry or resentful and happy or satisfied at the same time. Even though you may not have had a hand in those negative experiences in the past, you certainly have control of them on how you allow them to affect your life now and in the future. You can decide right now to throw out those negative experiences that cause you pain and anger and the way to do that is through forgiveness.

2. It doesn’t matter how justified you feel your anger is, sometimes you just have to say “what the heck” or “that’s the way it goes” and try to let it go. If you dwell on it, the only person you really end up hurting is you, so just try to get past it, forget about it, and move on.

3. Find something you can do to channel and release your anger. In other words, try to express it in a non-violent, productive, and acceptable way. That’s why I like to work out on a heavy bag, something I can kick and punch until I have a good workout and feel exhausted.

4. You know whether you are easily angered or not. Try not to let something or someone that angers you push you past the point of no return which causes you to do something violent.

5. Learn to recognize the triggers that cause you to become angry. These triggers are things like grinding your teeth and clenching your jaw. Your face becomes flushed because of the increased blood circulation (hence the expression, “makes my blood boil,”) and your hands become fists. Your muscles tighten, your voice becomes loud, and you would like to smack anyone who gets in your way. Recognizing these triggers and finding ways to manage them instead of them managing you is an excellent way to start letting go.

6. Turning negative emotions into positive emotions can help you solve a problem and possibly find a solution to what has angered you in the first place. Remember, anger is a double edge sword, stray but a little and you will fall to the dark side with enough force to harm other people, ruin relationships, and even destroy your own health.

7. When you become really angry to the point where you have crossed the line, oddly enough it is not too late to turn back, but it requires more effort. At this stage, the one thing that can help you more than anything is to practice deep breathing exercises. This will help you relax faster and hopefully you will be able to let go of your anger sooner. You have heard the expression that when something really makes you angry count to ten. That can work positively for you as well, but if you get to ten and you are still angry, then count to twenty, or thirty, or fifty, or a thousand if you have to.

8. Believe it or not, but talking to yourself can be a great benefit. Oh come on, you talk to yourself about other things, why not this? Tell yourself to calm down, think about what you are doing, and think about the consequences of what you are about to do. Talking positively to yourself can help you focus your energy from anger to other areas of your life that really matter.

9. Wash away those negative emotions. When you are having a bad day or a rough day at work dealing with an idiot boss and angry co-workers, try soaking in a hot tub, or a warm bath with scented candles and a glass of wine. After a while you will probably forget what made you angry in the first place, or at least it won’t seem to be as big a deal as you thought it was. On a side note, this does wonders for the body, mind, and spirit.

10. Walk it off. This is one of the best things you can do to help control your anger. Go for as long as you want to and as fast as you want to. If you take a nice long brisk walk you will also gain some very healthful side benefits. You will increase your blood circulation throughout your body, you will burn calories, you will release endorphins (the feel good hormones,) and you will feel more refreshed and relaxed afterwards.

So there you have it. Always try to let go of your anger. Don’t let it destroy you or those close to you. Learn to let go, forgive and forget, and let it flow through you and away from you.

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