Self Esteem

Self esteem is basically how you see yourself and the value you have of yourself in terms of your environment and total surroundings. It is the sum total of everything you have accomplished, and conversely, not accomplished up to this point in your life. Your self esteem is closely tied to your relationships with other people specifically your family, friends, and co workers. It is molded by your responses to and from your experiences in everyday life. If most of your life experiences give you positive feedback then you may enjoy a high self esteem. The alternative is also true a low self esteem is a result of people and situations in life experiences that respond to you negatively. If you have high self esteem then most of the time you consider yourself to be happy, in a good mood, and exude self confidence. This is a healthy state of mind to have but there is a fine line between being self confident and having high self esteem.

It is not attractive to others when you appear over confident to the point where you brag about what you have, or your accomplishments, and your abilities. You know the type, they are so full of themselves, they are usually pompous, arrogant, and obnoxious, and all you want to do is get away from them. However I have found that most people I know or have met that have high self esteem also have other admirable qualities like intelligence, compassion, and wisdom that keeps their self esteem in check. You see if you are confident enough in your abilities and who you are, that means that you are confident enough that you don’t have to boast and others will see it without all the pomposity and arrogance. The one thing that I absolutely cannot tolerate is some obnoxious braggart who thinks he or she is better than everyone else. I don’t care how smart, talented, and intelligent they are, if he or she acts that way, I am out of here.

Having high self esteem is important to the development of every person who desires success in their personal and professional life. Having high self esteem usually means you have great respect for yourself and it is also one of the fundamental reasons that others respect you. Developing high self esteem and confidence will keep you from doing what everyone else is doing because you have determined what is right and wrong for yourself. You will always do the right thing even if it is dangerous and that’s how you define yourself. There are several factors and influences that affect your level of self esteem. Some factors that negatively impact your sense of self worth can arise from a divorce, your physical attributes, and how you have been rejected or accepted by others.

If your parents divorced early in your life your self image may not be a positive one, as is the case with most children with divorced parents you may feel responsible, which of course is completely unjustified because it is not your fault. Generally children of divorced parents don’t get the proper support from their parents giving them the encouragement, love, and support they need for a healthy self image.

Physical characteristics such as facial features, bone structure, and body size can lead to low self esteem especially if others say mean things about you or point and laugh at you. Remember kids can be very cruel to other kids. Facial features such as a big nose or ears, big bones causing a person to look bigger than normal for their age group, or being overweight can all lead to low self esteem when others joke and say mean things about you. As a child, acceptance and rejection are important in determining the level of self esteem. If you are accepted and loved by your family and friends then most likely you will have a healthy level of self esteem and self confidence.

The first step to building a healthy level of self esteem is to stop the internal negative talk, stop putting yourself down. Tell mister negative, that little voice in your head, to buzz off. If you can discipline yourself to do this every time mister negative mouths off, then soon he won’t bother talking to you at all, and you will be well on your way to building high self esteem. Like it or not, everyone talks to himself or herself, it’s just that some people tend to vocalize when they do so, and consequently, when we see someone do this, we tend to think they are a little odd or a little off. Those silent conversations you have with yourself in your own mind is doing the same thing, you’re just not telling anyone within ear shot about your business. My point is, since you are going to talk to yourself anyway, why not say nice things, positive things to yourself about yourself? Start thinking more positively about yourself, and try to be more optimistic about your day to day life and your future. This will go a long way towards building your self esteem. Oh, and a word of advice, try to keep this kind of talk between you and, well you. If you feel that talking out loud to yourself helps you, and is more effective for you to do so, then do it when there is no one else around and you’re alone.

You began developing your self esteem and self image very early as a child. The encouragement you received from your parents helped you in your accomplishments and as you learned and grew your level of self esteem and self confidence changed to accommodate how you view yourself and others. As you continue your physical and intellectual development your self esteem also continues to change and develop. As a teen your self esteem and image will be greatly influenced by your achievements in school and your peers. Those who do well in all areas will be popular and well liked by others, teachers as well as classmates, and have a high sense of self worth. This process of development continues to change as you age. By the time you become an adult, if your self esteem has been a steady positive experience, then your level of self esteem remains consistent. At this point you have attained a level of self worth that has actually been determined by the sum total of all of your experiences that has led you to where you are now.

There are some people who, for some unexplainable reason, cannot help the way they feel about themselves. They can’t seem to control the negative self talk that further leads to self doubt and loathing. Since they don’t see themselves as worthy beings they rarely make eye contact and they speak in a low soft voice. They experience bouts of depression and anxiety more frequently than others. Those who have low self esteem are concerned with only pleasing others, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but this type of behavior is so extreme that they forsake themselves in the process. Someone who has low self esteem has no self assurance or very little. Again this belief limits that person when it comes to achievements in school, advancements in the work place, and accomplishments in life. Low self esteem can negatively impact relationships with others and create chemical dependency and substance abuse as a means of escape.

Another critical step in your quest for high self esteem is accepting yourself for who you are and being happy about it. This can be accomplished in small steps leading to a greater reward. Think about what you like to do, what is your passion? Learn all you can about it and become an expert. Knowledge truly is power and in this case it can be life changing. This alone will bring you new found confidence. Don’t be too concerned about making mistakes. Naturally you will want to avoid as many mistakes as possible, and oddly enough it may not be the actual mistake itself, but how you react to it that counts. It will serve you well to keep that at the fore front of your decision making process.

If you have physical attributes that you would like to change, and if it would make you feel better about yourself, then you should most certainly do it. If it would help your self image to lose a little weight, get new hair, get rock hard abs and buns of steel, get a new nose, or to increase or decrease and lift any part of your body, then you should do it. Another thing you should consider in your quest to improve your self esteem and build your confidence is to accept new challenges. Now don’t be intimidated by this, I’m not talking about mountain climbing or sky diving, but you might consider trying something you have never done before, like studying martial arts which is a great confidence builder. The bottom line is don’t be afraid to try something new. You are not perfect and how do you know whether you like something or not if you don’t try it. Don’t worry about it if you don’t do well or if it makes you feel differently. Just appreciate the experience and let it teach you if it is something you want to continue or move on to something else.

Permit me to ask you a question. Do you find that you need to prove yourself to others? I have three words for you, KNOCK IT OFF. If you are confident in your abilities and you have a healthy self image, others will see that and accept you for who you are. Isn’t that what you really want anyway? To be accepted for who you are? Usually when you go out of your way to try and impress someone else, you’ll end up looking foolish.

I am going to give you a list for you to consider that should help you build your self esteem. Try to be objective when applying this list to your own psychological makeup. Above all, be honest with yourself, you don’t want to build your self esteem on a false sense of security.

1. Don’t take it personal. Whatever happens in your life try not to take it too serious. Remember whatever is going to happen is going to happen and often times there is very little if anything you can do about it. When a situation arises try standing on the outside looking in. Sometimes this can give you a different perspective and you may possibly realize something you missed earlier.

2. Don’t Worry.  How many times have you worried about something only to find out you didn’t need to? It is always good to have a certain level of concern about a situation, but worrying may turn out to be excessive, and often times counterproductive. If worrying about the outcome of a situation will not change that outcome then worrying is a waste of energy.

3. Consider your strengths. What do you do well? What specialized knowledge do you have? Turn those skills and abilities to your advantage. Think what you can do with your talents that will help you in your quest for high self esteem.

4. Consider your weaknesses. What areas of your life needs or could use improvement. Figure out what you need to do and work on those areas.

5. Learn something new. Hasn’t there always been something you have wanted to do or learn that maybe you have never done before? Sure there is. Now is the time, take action, and do it. Learning something new is very powerful and can go a long way in building your self confidence.

6. Consider what you can control. Your values, beliefs, and passions can be controlled by you and you alone. You know down deep how you feel about everything in your life. It is your philosophy, your personal spin, and this along with your will is controlled by your mind and of course that is you.

7. Laugh out loud. Sometimes a situation arises in your life, you know the kind, a real annoyance and yet it is so ridiculous you just have to laugh. Doing this allows you to stand back and view the situation from a different perspective, and believe me if you can laugh at a situation then you begin to see how serious it really is. One more thing about laughing that may not have much to do with self esteem, but watch programs and do things that make you laugh. Having a good laugh releases endorphins that have a magical healing effect. It is so therapeutic and it makes you feel so good. Reader’s Digest speaks the truth when they say laughter is the best medicine.

8. Consider the company you keep. Think about those people around you, people you go to school with, work with, and hang out in general. Observe their behaviors and attitudes more closely. If they seem contradictory to what you are trying to achieve, then find some new friends to hang out with, and find those who have a more positive and optimistic outlook.

9. You by comparison. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are not them, and they are not you. This is a very self defeating activity because everyone does not have the same talents, skills, abilities, social status, and intelligence. It’s fine to want to aspire to be like someone, to admire what they can do or what they know, but don’t compare yourself to anyone. You are who you are and that in and of its self is unique.

10. Consider learning. Knowledge is a powerful thing. Learn all you can about how and why you feel the way you do. Investigate and practice different methods and programs designed to help you improve your outlook on life, inspire self confidence, improve your self image, and create more peace in your life.

If you are not feeling very good about yourself, it’s time to make a change, and it’s not too late. Explore the numerous techniques available to help you improve your self esteem as well as increase the quality of your life.

To be in compliance with United States Federal Trade Commission Regulations, I must tell you that I, or my publishing company, may receive a commission from the sale of these products or programs. It takes a great deal of time to research, investigate, assemble, and publish, and to be honest, the few dollars  in commissions I, or my company, make in bringing you the best of the best in programs are what keeps my company going.  Allow me to take this time to thank you for reading this article and reviewing the following offers.


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